Stop “Fake Gamer Girl” Shaming

Femmejira
12 min readDec 20, 2020

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Warning: Rated M for Mature. Intended for an 18+ Audience

We’ve all heard, read, and maybe even participated, in the shaming of what we dub “fake girl gamers”. You know the stereotype I’m talking about. The image that has been boasted, by men and women alike, throughout the gaming community. They apparently have cute outfits, thigh high socks, take pictures with their controllers, are decently attractive, and they play video games.

This has created an impossibly negative image of female gamers. One that is going to be hard to fight against but must be addressed. It’s absolutely toxic and is affecting the entire girl gamer community.

It needs to fucking stop.

Men and women are guilty of shaming girls for playing games strictly because they don’t adhere to a certain image, skill level, or play the types of games we all assume you have to play in order to be labeled a “gamer”.

Let’s get something straight here: In this post I will not just call men but I’ll call the girls out on their bullshit, too. I’m not afraid. Women gamers are just as likely to bully other women because they don’t live up to their standards.

It’s sickening and I’m personally over it. Our society has been screaming for equality for women for a while now. So, why do I see these badass female gamers ragging on other girls?

To follow that notion, since when have gamers and nerds put themselves up on this little pedestal? We make gaming out to be this hierarchical system when, in reality, all it is (and all it should be) is gaming. That’s it.

Are you a girl? Do you like games?

Guess what?

You’re a Gamer Girl. Or Girl Gamer.

Switching those two words around can have a lot of effect on you within the community and I am here to put a voice to stop this sexist madness.

First and foremost….

I Don’t Play Games With My Pussy

I mean, if you can do that you’ll probably make a shit ton more money than anyone else. That’s a skillset right there.

Joking aside, I don’t see what gender has to do with any of it. Being a girl doesn’t automatically rack points against you. In fact, it has been proven that women have quicker reflexes than men. Not to mention our memorization and multi-tasking skills are pretty incredible.

Being a girl has nothing to do with skill. You know what does? Practice and dedication to whatever games she may enjoy. Girls can boast just as high of skillset as men with the same amount of gameplay, too.

There are all of these myths that women have to try extra hard to play just as well as men. Last time I checked, women are merely humans with different biological structures. Tell me, how does that factor into my ability to control a 3D image on the screen? It doesn’t. And there isn’t a single person out there with a good enough excuse to argue this point. Most of what I’ve heard is a variation of comebacks like, “Yeah, well, girls just aren’t as good”.

And if that doesn’t highlight someone’s incredible bouts of misogyny I don’t know what will.

I have collected a lot of data from Reddit. And it’s a fucking problem, man. These people make some of the stupidest comments about girl gamers. Most of which don’t even make sense. They’ve just played it up in their heads so that it makes sense to them.

Here are some common Reddit comments about what makes a “Fake Girl Gamer”.

She’s a Fake Gamer Girl If…..

“She Gets A Full Sleep Cycle In”

This means nothing. At best, it’s playing off another unfair gamer stereotype which says gamers sit in front of their computers until the blood clots in their legs.

I’m sorry, but a lot of us have lives and jobs. If a girl doesn’t get solid gaming hours in one week that means she’s working, at school, studying, and making something of herself.

Actually, let’s stop right there. This doesn’t just go for women. This is for everyone. Not all gamers wait until rigor mortis sets in to finally get up and take a shower. In fact, I’m pretty sure that may be the minority in this situation.

This predetermined convention about gamers is one that only people living in their basements have kept alive in order to stay off the bottom feeder list. They want to make themselves feel better about themselves so they have to boast that real gamers never leave the console.

I have seen quite a few reddit posts stating you can spot a fake girl gamer if she gets a full 8 hours of sleep. Guess what, I like video games but I fucking love sleep. Napping. Bedtime. Falling asleep in bars (guilty as charged), I just really like sleeping. Sue me for being a pro at time management and keeping myself healthy.

Basically, what they’re saying is you’re not a girl gamer if you aren’t pasty with Dorito dust stuck to your lips and fingers, grinding 24 hours a day.

But, shouldn’t this go for all gamers? The fact that no one holds men to these same standards is frustratingly poignant. Only girls are fake in this instance. No one is saying men are fake for having a life outside of gaming. When, in reality, no one should be held to this stereotype.

So, my point here is, we all have jobs and obligations to tend to in our lives. Do not feel bad for prioritizing those duties over gaming. It doesn’t make you any less of a gamer no matter your gender or sex.

You game when life allows. It’s called being a real human being.

“She Has Vintage Systems”

Okay. I really cannot wrap my head around this one.

This is another popular Reddit comment regarding “fake girl gamers”. It doesn’t make sense to me. Just because a girl has an NES or Sega or Nintendo 64 doesn’t make her love of video games null and void.

If anything, doesn’t this show she has possibly been gaming her whole life? It does for me. I still have all of those systems mentioned and I love them dearly. That was my childhood right there. Countless hours spent playing Mario, Banjo and Kazooie, Ecco the Dolphin, and some terrible Star Trek game that I loved for whatever reason. The list goes on and on. My owning these games and systems doesn’t mean I’m trying to cut corners to fake it as a gamer. It means my life has been one big video game since I could hold a controller. For a lot of other girls, it could be the same way. Or maybe she’s a collector. Or, maybe those systems were her sibling’s and she got into gaming that way.

There are a lot of different scenarios for having vintage gaming systems and the last one is “fake girl gamer”.

“She Plays Mario Sunshine”

There is a comment on Reddit that literally says “if she plays Mario Sunshine then she’s a fake gamer”.

What next level bullshit is that? WTF does it matter what she enjoys playing? Plenty of people still love Mario. Plenty of men still love Mario. There’s a reason why Nintendo keeps cranking out different variations of what is pretty much the same Mario game every year. Because it sells.

Whatever games a person enjoys playing shouldn’t mean their gaming card is revoked.

Once again, if a guy picked up Mario Sunshine, no one would think twice. If a girl plays Mario then she’s fake.

Riddle me that sexist equation. Please.

“Her Skill Level Isn’t Top-Tier”

A lot of people will say you aren’t serious about gaming if you can’t keep up with the best.

Ignore this, please. I mean, if you’re good enough to live stream, make YouTube videos, and make a profit then go for it. More power to you. But it doesn’t make anyone less of a gamer than you if they don’t possess those same abilities.

We need to take into consideration that not everyone likes the same games. This is a big point that is often overlooked. Not everyone enjoys playing COD, WoW, Counterstrike, or Overwatch (to name a few).

Have you ever considered that maybe she just likes playing single player games on her own?

Just because she doesn’t have a team, play online, or livestream doesn’t mean she isn’t a gamer. I personally prefer to play RPGs on my own. That’s my favorite type of game. Occasionally I’ll play some Overwatch and Smash Bros, but if I’m sitting down to play after work it’s usually going to be relaxing time spent on my own.

Does this negate my gamership? Not at all. I’m not looking to be the best gamer out there. I’m not looking for any real competition against fellow men or women gamers. I merely enjoy playing these types of games and that’s that.

Recently, I saw a girl say she was going to quit playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses because someone told her she wasn’t leveling her students up correctly or putting them in the right classes. That’s disgusting. Judging from her profile you could tell she enjoyed the game. Now, thanks to some self-proclaimed nerd overlord she feels bad about her own gameplay and can’t enjoy the game anymore.

Why would you want to take that away from someone? Games are created to be enjoyed. Not to be used as tools in order to exhibit some self-proclaimed superiority over others. It’s those people who should be, and probably are, ashamed of themselves. Not the gamers in question.

“She Has a Crush on the Characters”

Okay, and how many Hentai images do you have saved on your phones? How many naked anime chick figurines are behind your glass case half-covered in jizz?

I fall in love with fictional people all the time. Anime, games, books, you name it. I’m currently crushing on some Fire Emblem babes and Arthur Morgan holds a special place in my heart.

Developing crushes for, maybe even fantasizing about, fictional characters whom we play on a daily basis is bound to happen. In fact, if we didn’t like the characters in some capacity would we even continue to play these games? Probably not.

It’s only natural we find some characters attractive because of their appearance or personality traits in these games.

If guys can sit there and watch their tentacle porn and have Loli fetishes then I don’t see why I can’t innocently wish I was riding with Arthur off into the Red Dead sunset.

“She Takes Pictures of Her Controllers”

Have you seen the community of gamers on Instagram?

Instagram is purely based around pictures. If you want to join a community then you are going to have to open up that phone camera and snap some pics. Big surprise.

It’s actually a lot of fun creating different photos and watching your theme come to life. Especially for someone with a more artistic eye regarding photography. Taking pictures of our gear and system can be rewarding in and of itself and most certainly doesn’t cancel out your gaming abilities.

Hell, I have seen quite a few men who have beautiful Instagram gaming accounts. Is anyone annihilating them for being “fake”? No.

Yet you demoralize a woman because she takes pictures of herself with her headphones.

Here’s a little lesson for you: If a girl takes a cute selfie maybe she just felt good about herself and her nice controller.

Instead of praising her for this we tear her down to keep that self-esteem paper thin. Just like we do for all women who take pictures of themselves. I don’t care how buttoned up or naked you are, if you feel good about yourself please do not let bullying comments rip you apart. Don’t let it stop you from taking those pictures. Have fun and celebrate your body. That level of confidence is rare and should be embraced.

This brings us to a very controversial topic in and of itself….

The girls who make money off of playing games in skimpy clothes.

Who…the…fuck…cares?

If they want to make some cash by showing some cleavage and playing games then let them do it. If men are going to be that fucking stupid and pay then it’s their fault. Not the woman’s. She just has a channel and some boobs. No one is forcing these men to open up their wallets.

What’s interesting, is it is mostly men who rag on these girls. Especially on Reddit. Mostly the men who pay to watch.

Are you guys just mad because you’ve been duped into paying for something you can probably find for free on a porn site? You made that profession famous because you all thought with your dicks. So, please don’t hate on these girls for jumping on a bandwagon you, and only you, paid to create.

Don’t like it? Then stop watching. But we all know that’s not going to happen, now is it?

One more issue I’d like to address is the one which makes me angrier than all the rest:

Famous Gamer Girls Who Share The Hate

Once again, isn’t this new society we are all trying to bring into existence supposed to be about equality? Speaking strictly here about equality for women. All women.

The sad truth of the matter is most women aren’t abiding by this rule. Disagree all you want but women hate other women. Especially when it comes to a specific niche they deem themselves the best at.

I’m not naming usernames. During my free time, I have watched quite a few videos from some of the top female gamers on YouTube where they sit there and bitch about “fake girl gamers”.

Come on. We should be celebrating the fact that girls like games. We should be highlighting this so that gaming companies see the potential market out there for women gamers.

Instead, these top girl gamers on Twitch and YouTube want to beat everyone down so they stay at the top.

Girls, we need to learn to be kinder. How is society going to see us as equals if we can’t even be equal to each other? How are men going to see girl gamers as anything but a lesser version of themselves if you feed into their stereotypical notions? Teach others how to treat you. Calling each other “fake gaming girls” and “sluts” is only enhancing the sexist community that is the gaming world.

These top female gamers should be supporting clothes of their kind. Not individually, of course. Just as a whole community. If anything, stop posting videos and stories that bolster the negative misconceptions held toward other female gamers.

You can do better than that. We can do better than that.

Girls, Don’t Expect To Be Treated Like A Goddess

I am preaching equality here. Nothing more, nothing less.

This post is not to say that men should bow at the feet of all female gamers.

And, girls, you shouldn’t expect that, either.

What I’m saying is it would be nice for men to treat women as equal gamers. Even if their skill isn’t at an equal level or they don’t know all of the lingo that no one actually cares about anyway.

The point here is a “girl gamer” is a girl who enjoys video games. Plain and simple. I know some people try to make that more special than it is. I am fully aware of this fact, but I am fairly certain that most gaming girls just want to be accepted.

And, men, if you go out on a date with a girl (or are just talking with a girl) and she says she’s a gamer that doesn’t necessarily mean she thinks she’s a unicorn. Consider these two important points:

  • She truly enjoys video games and is excited to talk about a beloved hobby
  • She realizes this is something the two of you have in common. Which should be exciting for the both of you.

More often than not, she isn’t saying this to make you kiss her feet. It’s usually going to be one, or both, of the above.

I’m not saying there aren’t girls out there who want attention for being a girl gamer. I’m just saying they don’t make up the majority. Give the girl a chance. Don’t pigeonhole her into an attention-seeking-gamer-whore which is pretty much what’s happening.

I know I didn’t get everything I wanted into this post but, damn, there’s so much to tackle.

The gaming community has made itself into a grander society than it actually is. We’re nerds. We’re proud. But we shouldn’t be up on our high-horses, here.

We’re talking about video games. All of this techno-masculinity and the hypocritical criticism is just a smokescreen to get around the fact that you’re a gamer geek. You don’t like that title. You think it puts you at the bottom rung of the social ladder. So, how do you raise yourself up to seem more important? You start bashing other people. You take on an excruciatingly annoying pompous attitude about nerdy shit in order to fool people into thinking you’re a genius. A classic move, really. Bonus misogyny points if you exemplify the aforementioned traits against women.

I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of sick of nerds acting like they’re better than everyone else. You’re not a fucking doctor, you’re not curing Covid-19, you’re not saving endangered species.

You’re sitting on a couch with the controller talking about how your dick is bigger just because you shoot 3D images better than anyone else.

When, in reality, we should just be happy to have friends and significant others who share our same interests. It doesn’t always have to be a competition or a contest for superiority.

Just let people do what they want, and love, to do.

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Femmejira
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Punk Gamer. Freelance Gaming Writer. Ps4 & Nintendo Switch.